'well designed life'

Wow - it's been a year since my last post & what a year it has been!

As a quick recap, last year at this time I started focusing on my nutrition and I became the personal assistant for the owner of our gym. It has been a FANTASTIC year of growth, learning, and opportunity helping many people get started on their health journeys. I proudly hit age 54! I'll likely talk about it in future posts, but today I want to do a unique book review on a book that I just finished reading.

The book is 'well designed life: 10 lessons in brain science & design thinking for a Mindful, Healthy, & Purposeful Life' by Dr. Kyra Bobinet.

As with any of my book reviews, this is going to be about what I personally pulled from this book not necessarily a typical review.

One big thing was to think of designing my life in iterations. 'Iterations' as in we don't succeed or fail, but we attempt something and if it doesn't work, we tweak it, and we try again.

Think of the telephone. What if Alexander Graham Bell sat in front of his large phone with needles & wires, got ahold of Mr. Watson and then declared 'that's it, the phone is done, never to be changed again'.

What if Apple said the first generation iphone was as good as it gets?

That's crazy!

We wouldn't have phones that are capable of running businesses, making calls, keeping schedules, playing music, taking pictures, and all the other stuff our phones now do.

Yet, as humans we are quick to try something & if it doesn't work, feel like a failure.

At age 54, I truly believe that the only way that we do fail is if we stop trying.

For my birthday, I declared that I was working on version 54.1 of myself! Three days later, I was tweaking and on to version 54.2!

Aside from designing towards our goals, I was relieved reading the chapter regarding relapse. It has been proven that the more we do a behavior the more a pathway of neurons is created in our brains. I think of this like a path in the woods. If you've ever tried walking into thick forest, the first time through is difficult as you clear away sticks & obstacles. The next time through is easier and the more often you take the path, the easier it gets.

This relates to new behaviors. Anything we do for the first time is more difficult as our brain is figuring things out, learning, & removing obstacles. We are building a new pathway in our brain. The more we do that new behavior, the clearer and easier the new pathway becomes until it turns into a smooth, paved highway.

What this book covered well, was the time when new behaviors are being formed but the old behavior still has a well worn pathway too. That's when we are likely to relapse; i.e., turn to the old behavior. Relapse has a negative connotation because of dangerous, life-threatening relapses with drugs or alcohol, but a relapse is when, due to stress, time, environment, or whatever, the old behavior path is taken because both paths are still there. It's normal & it can be designed for.

This makes me think of route 1 that goes down the entire east coast. That was the major route for years and years. That's how you got across town or from Maine to Florida. Until, a new behavior came along, I-95. I-95 was bigger, smoother, & faster so if you wanted to get there quicker, you used I-95 now instead of route 1. But, while I-95 was being built, sometimes you used route 1, sometimes you used I-95. Even when I-95 was completed, if traffic was stopped (i.e. environment), you may revert right back to route 1. Both pathways are still there, it's the one you focus on and pay more attention to (which one you steer the car towards) that is going to get used.

Building the new pathways made complete sense to me, but predicting relapse and then designing for it, was explained in a way that had never occurred to me. Of course, sometimes you are going to take the old behavior path again. For a time while your new pathway is being built, you have a 50/50 chance of taking either path.

It doesn't mean failure, it just means with a new iteration you can either design for that detour, tweak it when it happens, or put your foot on the pedal and continue to steer towards your new behavior goal! (insert Dukes of Hazard horn sound effect here - lol)

But seriously, give yourself some compassion & grace as you design and start to implement new behaviors!